1. As a society, we focus on the cliche of “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes” or empathy, when we should be putting our energy into kindness instead because kindness motivates unbiased action. When we first critiqued my thesis statement in class, I felt that it was a run-on sentence and the ending was repetitive. Once I let it sit and reread it, I realized that it’s setup is similar to a “if, then” hypothesis statement by saying we do this but really should be doing this instead. This way of setting it up clearly shows my viewpoint and stance. I feel that it is specific and has strong word choices that resonate with the audience. They can pick out the key terms of cliche, energy into kindness, and unbiased action. The word motivates has a strong and positive connotation that sits really nicely at the end of my thesis and introduction paragraph. With the given sources for this essay, my claim had plenty of places to pull from Bloom’s arguments. It was a little harder to dig into the weeds to find a connection with Wallace and Konnikova though. Overall, I felt that my thesis was strong and liked the repetition of kindness because the reader knew where I was headed with my paper. I’m glad I moved its placement to the end of the introduction because it helped my essay flow a lot better. 
  2. During this essay, I was reminded that I often have a hard time getting my initial thoughts on the paper. I hate that I am a procrastinator and tend to struggle with it most when it comes to writing. Ironic that I want to be an English teacher, right? I was also reminded of the importance of sharing my work before submitting it to get more perspectives. A professor in one of my literature classes today claimed, “It’s hard to write in isolation.” This resonated with me and was another reinforcement of leaning on others through peer review to not only improve my essay, but my enjoyment of the writing process as well. Receiving constructive criticism always helps me step back from my own clouded brain and see how my reader is feeling. I learned that switching sentences around can enhance a smoother flow throughout my arguments. Balancing the “they say, I say” portions of my paper is something I need to continue to look out for in the future. Lastly, I remembered how effective the reading to the wall method is in fine tuning my final essay. 
  3. In my essay “The Power of Impartial Kindness,” I focussed on global revision more than I have in any other piece of writing. My three main priorities were making my evidence connect to my thesis, increasing specificity, and incorporating more of the source voices into my essay. I tried to focus on asking myself what I was arguing and how to make it more interesting. Giving more details on my most important text to self connection about my brother’s passing and the unnecessary “empathy” my family received strengthened its purpose in my essay. The remainder of my revision process revolved around finding the best parts of DFW’s speech to incorporate into my essay and adjusting where ideas fit best to prove my thesis. 
  4. I will address our next essay differently by trying to have more completed before the peer review process. I was happy that I had my rough draft down on paper, but enjoy getting feedback that pushes me closer to my final draft. I will make sure to continue taking my time to understand and annotate the sources we get in class. Lastly, I will try to time my essay better because there was a gap between receiving my peer review feedback and implementing it into my essay. Better timing will allow me to remember changes I want to make and strengthen my overall writing process.